Fly in the Ointment

by Derek Benfield
May 12, 13, 14, 2005
Directed by Don Hussey
Produced by Peter Unsworth.
Stage Manager, Geoff Stretton
Lighting by Charlie Manton
Scenery by Judith Watson and Sue McRoberts

Farcical carryings-on in a seaside bungalow. Minister for the Environment, Ron Corley , seeks to disentangle himself from his former mistress, Donna, and to retrieve some damning photographs. Alas, his efforts are foiled by the arrival of his wife, Louise, and the unexpected appearances of a frustrated policewoman, a troublesome pizza delivery boy and a love-sick doctor.

Ron is given a good thumping by Donna Desperately searching for the incriminating photographs, Ron (Paul Hammond) is caught in the act by Donna (Penny Avery), who thinks he has returned to her. She is furious when she finds this is not so and calls for the police, claiming that Ron is an intruder.

WPC Brenda Hackett (Angela Danks) arrives in answer to Donna's call, arriving by climbing in through the window.....nobody answers doorbells when it's the police.

Her investigation of the complaint is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Albert, a delivery boy from Pizza Palace (David Eyes). Albert recognizes Ron both as a prominent politician and a regular visitor to Donna. The policewoman is appalled, not to say jealous, at the seamy carryings on at the bungalow.

WPC Brenda
Ron's wife Louise is mollified by his explanations

Ron is horrified by the arrival of his suspicious wife, Louise (Faith Wilson), who has followed him from London.

He concocts a ridiculous story to account for a pair of frilly knickers found in his spare jacket and a further preposterous tale of environmental pollution in the local river to explain his regular visits to the bungalow. Photographs of the riparian disaster are needed for evidence and Donna has agreed to help out.

Louise is sorry for doubting him

In spite of Ron's best efforts to get Louise to go home before she discovers his deceptions, the two ladies meet and have a confusing conversation about photographs.

Donna apologises for hastening Louise's departure and confides that she is expecting a lively evening with her lover. She has no idea that Louise is Ron's wife.

Donna and Louise having a chat
Doctor Billing declares his love for Louise

Yet another visitor through the window. Doctor George Billing (Richard Oliver) has followed Louise from London. Louise thinks he is Donna's expected beau but, fortified by gin, he declares that it is Louise whom he loves.

Louise is overcome and faints. They are discovered by Ron, who is pleased that there is a doctor around to look after his wife

The canny Albert has found Ron out and tries a bit of blackmail. Ron pays Albert to distract Donna, to give him time to persuade Louise to go home to London.

Doctor Billing goes into action

The frustrated Donna, left fuming in her bedroom, declares that she will commit suicide if Ron doesn't get rid of all these spare people and pay her some attention.

The desperate Ron calls on Doctor Billing to sedate this hysterical woman.

WPC Hackett discovers all

WPC Hackett arrives in pursuit of Albert. She revives Donna and demands an explanation.

Donna produces the revealing photographs only to find that they have mysteriously changed to pictures of pizzas.

Then Albert lets the cat out of the bag and Ron is really in trouble with both Donna and Louise. Donna consoles herself with the doctor, WPC Hackett makes off with Albert and the wretched Ron has to deal with a worm who has turned.

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There is a cd rom of photographs from the dress rehearsal. If you would like a copy, please contact the committee.

Copyright © 2002. EydonPlayers
Revised --October2011 Version 10a